Notes on 2012

Angel Tube Station, Islington.

We met in London again in the summer, and made a journey to beautiful Cornwall. It was then that I realized this something was, in fact, a relationship. And how — despite parting ways once again, flying to opposite sides of the world, and resuming our romance on GMail, Skype, WhatsApp, and Twitter — I was the happiest I’d ever been.

A State of Comfortable Change

Fort Point

Since the day I got married, I’ve changed my name on various profiles online and begun to sign my new name on documents and checks. As I mentioned in my last post, changing my name is a big step, and because I sit in front of a computer screen for most of the day, with my various profiles staring back at me, I’m constantly reminded of this change.

First Thoughts on Moving In (Or, How My Internet Shrunk)

heart of san francisco II

But I no longer have to rely on looking outward, into a sea of pixels, to sustain this particular relationship in my life. It’s interesting to feel this layer of my Internet now inside my home, absorbing into me, into him, into us. Two planes initially distinct, merging over the course of a year-and-a-half, now intertwining.

Notes on Home, Life, and Love


In between these meetings, we’ve created a space for us, just us, online: a portal through which that flow sustains. A borderless space that transcends geography, that exists somewhere only we can access.

On Eternal Sunshine, Erasing Memories, and Facebook Timeline

blurry lights

But my curation of my own history—the deleting of previous status updates, the “featuring” of particular posts—is strange. More so than before, I am able to highlight what is important in my life—or what I want others to view as important—and fill in missing details from today to when I was born.

The End of an Era, the Beginning of the Future (and the Long Moment in Between)

dirty bird-establishing

But there was a drawn-out moment—one that lasted years, for as long as we all swirled together, nourished through the music and the substances. The partying halted like a trainwreck, but in slow motion. As we came down, I tried to grab onto something tangible to take with me: a constant, or a totem from that world that made sense outside of it.

Notes on Virtual Life, Part V: Proximity & Physical Space

Fort Point

And so both realms, physical and virtual, are appealing: The concrete world where I can meet my father for lunch in South Beach on my day off, and where I can head to a Giants game with my good friend Noel on a warm evening in the bay. A physical space of certainties. And then there’s this boundless digital space, where the thinker, the romantic, and the dreamer in me gets much of its oxygen.

Notes on Virtual Life, Part IV: On Unplugging & Merging Virtual and Real

Penthouse View of Trafalgar Square, London, June 2011.

It’s rather nice to keep moments untweeted, unblogged, and unplugged, no matter how wonderful. And I’m not saying the experiences we do publicize and tweet and blog aren’t special, but there was something about escaping this vast, ever-flowing matrix—and letting the moments that unfolded simply be.

Notes on Virtual Life, Part III: Nomadic Relationships

Lisbon reflection

In the past, I’ve felt that nomadic friendships enhance my life, but weren’t meant to replace my traditional ones. Today, I crave—even need—these connections. I’m not certain what this means, or how these particular relationships will evolve. They are special, but also bittersweet in that the time I spend with these people is sporadic.

Notes on Virtual Life, Part II: Facebook, Twitter & the Seeds of Compartmentalization

Barcelona, Spain

It comes down to compartmentalization. I find myself filing my friendships and relationships, online and off, into tidy drawers. Yet as I do this, gingerly and methodically, “friendship” becomes more elusive as “real” and “virtual” continues to collide.