Notes on 2012

Angel Tube Station, Islington.

We met in London again in the summer, and made a journey to beautiful Cornwall. It was then that I realized this something was, in fact, a relationship. And how — despite parting ways once again, flying to opposite sides of the world, and resuming our romance on GMail, Skype, WhatsApp, and Twitter — I was the happiest I’d ever been.

A State of Comfortable Change

Fort Point

Since the day I got married, I’ve changed my name on various profiles online and begun to sign my new name on documents and checks. As I mentioned in my last post, changing my name is a big step, and because I sit in front of a computer screen for most of the day, with my various profiles staring back at me, I’m constantly reminded of this change.

First Thoughts on Moving In (Or, How My Internet Shrunk)

heart of san francisco II

But I no longer have to rely on looking outward, into a sea of pixels, to sustain this particular relationship in my life. It’s interesting to feel this layer of my Internet now inside my home, absorbing into me, into him, into us. Two planes initially distinct, merging over the course of a year-and-a-half, now intertwining.

Notes on Home, Life, and Love


In between these meetings, we’ve created a space for us, just us, online: a portal through which that flow sustains. A borderless space that transcends geography, that exists somewhere only we can access.

On Eternal Sunshine, Erasing Memories, and Facebook Timeline

blurry lights

The first time I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, years ago, I didn’t like it. The film, about two people who go through a procedure to erase each other from their memories, was made well, and I appreciated the vision of Michel Gondry. I also loved Jim Carrey’s more dramatic, tortured side à la The Truman Show. But the story scraped against me as I sifted through my own memories of guys that were never right for me, and relationships I had believed were more than what they actually were. I watched… Read More

The End of an Era, the Beginning of the Future (and the Long Moment in Between)

dirty bird-establishing

Circa 1997 “Do you want some of my water?” a girl with pigtails asks as she hands me her water bottle. A green glow stick floats vertically inside it. “Sure,” I say. She compliments me on my sneakers as I gulp. “Who did you come with?” she asks. The music builds. It gets louder. I move in closer, yelling in her ear. “Oh, my friends. They’re somewhere outside,” I say, pointing to the opening in the wall. “Wanna come with me to find them?” She takes the lollipop out of her mouth,… Read More

Notes on Virtual Life, Part V: Proximity & Physical Space

Fort Point

And so both realms, physical and virtual, are appealing: The concrete world where I can meet my father for lunch in South Beach on my day off, and where I can head to a Giants game with my good friend Noel on a warm evening in the bay. A physical space of certainties. And then there’s this boundless digital space, where the thinker, the romantic, and the dreamer in me gets much of its oxygen.

Notes on Virtual Life, Part IV: On Unplugging & Merging Virtual and Real

Penthouse View of Trafalgar Square, London, June 2011.

It’s rather nice to keep moments untweeted, unblogged, and unplugged, no matter how wonderful. And I’m not saying the experiences we do publicize and tweet and blog aren’t special, but there was something about escaping this vast, ever-flowing matrix—and letting the moments that unfolded simply be.

Notes on Virtual Life, Part III: Nomadic Relationships

Lisbon reflection

In the past, I’ve felt that nomadic friendships enhance my life, but weren’t meant to replace my traditional ones. Today, I crave—even need—these connections. I’m not certain what this means, or how these particular relationships will evolve. They are special, but also bittersweet in that the time I spend with these people is sporadic.

Notes on Virtual Life, Part II: Facebook, Twitter & the Seeds of Compartmentalization

Barcelona, Spain

It comes down to compartmentalization. I find myself filing my friendships and relationships, online and off, into tidy drawers. Yet as I do this, gingerly and methodically, “friendship” becomes more elusive as “real” and “virtual” continues to collide.